Nightmares
by the ticking clock
Summary: Charles can't sleep. Spoilers for Days of Future Past.


**Just saw Days of Future Past. I would love prompts! Particularly about Charles and Erik :) Hope you like this story! **

He can't sleep.

There's too much pain and fear and death screaming behind his eyes and through his spine.

Sleep is not an option.

* * *

The voices start after Cuba.

They've always been there, but there is a new, terrifying intensity to them that is new and alien and strange. Erik's voice haunts him most of all-breaking and raw and furious, _We want the same things, you and I. _

Charles's wakes up screaming.

His cries wake his students, and he hears the frantic pounding of feet, the rush of their minds asking, _Professor? Charles? _in a jumbled mess of thoughts before Hank bursts into the room. Alex is close behind, sending soothing images and gentle words with his thoughts while he grips Charles by the shoulders and says, "Breathe professor. You're gonna be alright."

Charles barely registers them. He's bent over, hands pressed to his eyes struggling to slow his breathing and still his mind, but the voices are screaming at him and he can hear Raven's voice as a little girl, "I'm Raven." And those two, sweet words are like being stabbed and he can't breathe, he can't-

Hank's arms come around him, and he holds Charles so tightly, and says, "It's alright, Professor, it's alright," over and over with both his mind and his voice, until Charles can breathe again.

* * *

There is so much pain in the world.

He's never been more aware of it until now-with a thousand voices screaming through his head. When he'd been a boy, he thought he'd been crazy. Now, he knows that he is perfectly sane, and he's not sure which is worse.

He can't sleep. He can't close his eyes because when he does he can hear them, loud, screaming, pleading, desperate and raw with pain. He can't distinguish the individuals who are screaming, only the noise of suffering and agony pounding through his consciousness and tearing him apart.

He tries to hide it from his student's, from Erik(when he hears of him) from Raven(when she snarls insults into his mind as he searches the world for her) but he can't do it for long.

Banshee and Hank find him slumped over Cerebro one day, unable to breathe, knuckles white as he digs his fingers into his head, mouth open in a soundless scream.

He's dimly aware of Hank yanking the device from his head and Banshee wheeling him backwards, speaking in a slow, steady, soothing voice, but he can't stop screaming and he can't breathe, and he just wants it to stop. He needs clarity, the line between rage and serenity, but his whole world has been ripped out from under him, and there is nothing peaceful or serene about it.

* * *

They take his student's away.

He should have expected it-they are of fighting age after all, and they've been in battles-but he is still unprepared when Alex comes to him with shaking hands and scared eyes to tell him that they've been drafted.

It's only been a few months since Angel, Emma and Banshee's deaths, and Charles doesn't know how much more he can take. He isn't sure exactly what kind of expression he's making, but Alex crosses the room and pulls him into an embrace.

They're both shaking, both trembling with fear and pain and Charles's holds Alex tightly enough so he can feel the heaving of his chest and the trembling of his breaths as he struggles not to cry. "It's going to be alright, Alex," he hears himself saying, and he hates himself for it, can taste the bitter lie on his tongue, but he doesn't know what else to say.

Alex swallows hard and pounds Charles's on the back, pulling away with his eyes full of tears and his lips twisted up into something that is supposed to resemble a smile. He looks strangely like Erik in that moment-all shattered pain and anger. "I know, I know," he says, and the break in his voice makes Charles's move towards him again. "I'll be okay, we'll all be okay." Charles grips the boy's arms, hard, and Alex looks down at him and says, "promise me that you'll be okay, too, professor."

And Charles has to say that he will, has to promise to this broken boy who is so strong, but it tastes like a lie.

* * *

He's been walking for several months now.

He's not sure if the absence of voices is helping, or if it is driving him even further down into despair, but he doesn't know what else to do. His students are gone, Raven is gone, Erik is gone. It's just him and Hank. For several weeks he tries to put up a facade of normalcy. He goes about his business, checking the news, running with Hank...but at night he can't hide anymore.

Even though he doesn't hear the voices, he still has nightmares. He can still remember the agony of the coin going through his head, the bullet ripping through his back, Erik's haunting memories of guns and experimentations and pain...

He remembers what it was like to touch so many minds and feel exhilarated, to feel the thrill of connection and not the blinding pain.

There's so much _pain _in the world.

Sometimes, Hank will come to him, offer comfort when he wakes up, but for the most part Charles locks his door. He doesn't want to be Hank's burden.

* * *

He can sleep now.

It's restless and filled with nightmares of Erik's voice and Banshee's dying screams and the feeling of Emma's mind slipping away from his, but he sleeps.

The silence is eery and strange to his mind that is so used to sound and connection, but it is peaceful. With the silence, he can walk. He can feel his legs. He can run.

But most importantly, he can sleep. He can close his eyes and he can bear the darkness.

Hank watches him with worried eyes, catious and wary and protective.

Charles' drinks and cries and sleeps.

At night he sits across from the chessboard and stares at the window at a world that seems so ordinary but is so different.

"I promise I'll be alright," he'd told Alex. "Don't worry about me."

Now his students are either dead, or fighting for their lives halfway across the world.

His sister is lost to him.

Erik is locked up where he belongs.

And Charles is alone in a large house.

He closes his eyes, and listens to the silence.


End file.
